Emma Alvarez Blog: September 2010

To read the first part go here.

This that follows was written in the journal of my husband Jordi at DeviantArt and I wanted to share it with you:

"On September 8, 2010, my cat Lilit died of lung cancer, a painless and fast one, that just didn't let her breathe anymore. She was 15, but may have lived much more years if motherfucker vets had thought in her health and not in their greed.

These are mobile phone photos by my wife or me that I restored to eliminate noise, and bring back the true colors of my cat. When she died we thought we had no photos, because she didn't like cameras, and all we had were these. Finally, I recovered 67 photos of her, and we made a TV slideshow with them, and a Youtube video.

I could talk for hours about her previous health problems. I could rage against those ignorant money makers called veterinaries. Or how I feel they have taken a part of my life away, and my wife is even worse because she was much more time all day with her.

But I prefer just to talk about what she meant to me. So here it goes...

My wife and me took her from an animal shelter. She had 2 rat bites in her back, and was very thin. She was terrified, and the first thing she did was crawling over me to my head. I took her in my arms again, and she pushed herself against me, holding herself with her claws from my shirt, as I hughed her and took her to the car.

Since then, she always seeked and found protection in me. When she was terrified, because she was in the veterinary, she pushed herself against my chest, and sometimes put her little head under my arm, and I huged her little soft body. And I felt that enormous love coming from such a small creature, that I would have killed for her.

When she arrived home, she was full of fear, and hide in every corner, under the bed. I crawled and chased her at all times, until she let me touch her, until she wanted to stay with us because she knew we only wanted the best for her.

Those who abandoned her when she was a cub didn't know that they were throwing away a diamond, something that may fill 15 years of their life with the small moments of happiness that make life be worth living.

A little being full of goodness, in a small soft incarnation as a cat. Intelligent, deep green eyes like fields of wheat.

I wish I had been able to be with her more time. Now I miss the wet nose, Eskimo kisses of cat, she smelling the grass, see her sunbathing at the balcony, playing with a hair band, the cats bell sound.

She's gone and I want the sky to become black, I wish everybody was crying, time has stopped, never will return. The world has turned more hostile, more dreadfull, more full of loneliness. Daily moments, some minutes of the day, have become a torture.

I was her father by her will, and she was, as I called her, my little hairy daughter. I put my finger between her claws and she grab it, like a baby. When I crossed her I took her in my arms from her little legs and kissed her face or her back under the neck. Whispered ridiculous songs she liked in her ear, told her that when she is healthy again we will return to the country to smell plants and climb olive trees, and that she was the most beautiful thing that my eyes had ever seen. When I returned from the street, she stared at me and we didn't need to say anything when our green eyes crossed, we both know the love we shared.

Now God has called her to lay in Jesus' lap, to a new life, reborn as a cub, and play with his golden hair like she did with mine when we found her, until we meet someday again, truly, eternally..."

- Jordi R. Cardona

If someone wants to see all of Lilit's photo, see them here: http://hiperia3d.deviantart.com/gallery/#Lilit
We would feel very pleased if you make any art with our cat Lilit, please show us if you do. That way you will make her live forever.

To see the other parts of In Memory Of Lilit, go to:

In Memory Of Lilit Part 1

In Memory Of Lilit Part 3

In Memory Of Lilit Part 1
(Read more...)

I always liked dogs, until one day my father adopted two Siamese kitties. Since that day I loved the personality of cats, their independence, their elegance, how fun and tender they are.

My mother didn't let me have pets, so my dream was that when I had my own home I could have my own cat. So when I moved to live with Jordi (my husband), after a month we went to an animal shelter to adopt a cat.

We didn't find the shelter, that was in the outskirts, so we were late and night fell. When we arrived there were only 2 cat cubs left, that were 2 months old. I said to the girl that I wanted a female, and she took Lilit. Lilit was very frightened. That place was horrible and the animals were in very bad condition. She had a rat bite and was very small, she was completely malnourished.

I remember that we signed the papers. "Who will sign as owner?" and I looked at Jordi and he said "Emma". And I said "I adopted a baby and now I'm your mom".

I remember that when we stopped at a traffic light, Jordi and me looked to the back seat and she stared back at us. She looked at one, then the other, and with a gesture of disapproval, she said "meow", and I said to Jordi "I think she doesn't like us", and we laughed.

We were just 19 years old. Six months after that we married. It was hard for us to get Lilit live with us, because she was fearful and hid, but we insisted until we created such a strong bond that lasted until the last second of her life.

Those times were really hard for us. We were very young, had no money, unemployment was high, and it seemed that everybody enjoyed bothering a young couple with lots of dreams willing to fight for them.

We were alone, without family. When one is in a bad situation, you loose even your friends, and you find yourself so alone... And our only joy was our little playful cat called Lilit, or Pity as we called her too with affection. In those times, we lacked of everything, but she always had her food cans, or money for her vaccines.
She was and has been very important for us.

When we three sat in the sofa, we said "all our family is here". And that was she for us, like a daughter, or as we said, "our little hairy daughter". I have had many problems in my life, and she was always there to make me smile. I have thousands of anecdotes, thousands of laughs, licks, games. All nights she slept by my side, and I fell asleep with her purr.

Years later, we bought a house in the beach (where we live now). I remember when we moved and all was full of boxes. Lilit looked at me with a gesture of disapproval, and started to scratch the door, and I laughed and said "You don't like it, isn't it? Neither me, but you will like it when we finish", and she replied "meow meow". She was very chatty, and that was one of the things I loved most of her. You talked to her and she replied, and we understood each other just looking at the other's eyes.

One day, she started vomiting and having diarrhea. I remember that I found her very ill, and took her to the veterinary. He said to me that she was dying, "I don't think we could make anything for her", and I went out to the street, after arguing with the vet, and cried. Jordi picked me up as he was returning from work, and I told him all this. We looked for another veterinary and called to thousands of them, until we arrived at a veterinary hospital and after 3 days she was recovered.

I was very frightened because my father had died the previous year, and started to develop phobias about open spaces, about losing Jordi, and the pain of loosing my father added to a series of fiscal problems that I inherited from him... I was very frightened, and was all day in and out of the court and asked myself "why has my father done this to me, if I loved him so much?".
I went through 2 years of deep depression, and my husband and my cat were always there, my "little family". I sang Barnie's song to Lilit. I know it's very affected, but she loved it.

Some time later, Lilit got a methritis, and she had to be operated. The muscles of her belly stretched and since then she had a little big beer belly that I loved. And years went by and the circumstances improved and there were years of fun and play. She shared my life filling every second of love and laughs.

Three years ago she started having a strange cough, and what started being a silly bronchitis turned into a hell, and the final decline of my cat. They filled their pockets, those veterinaries, she said that she was asthmatic, others said that she was allergic. She was one year taking antibiotics and another with cortisone.

God knows how many nights I spent with her, how many cares we gave her, how many anguishes and cries and desperation. And at the end of those aggressive treatments, my cat never returned to be even the shadow of what she was. But even then I wanted her by my side, although I couldn't be 12 hours away from my house, although in 3 years I couldn't make even a short journey. Me and Jordi loved her, unconditionally, as only true love can.

This last year was more calm. But our cat was more sad and that hurt me. Some days ago she started to breathe very badly. At the beginning the veterinary thought it was a pneumonia. He gave her some medicines to lower her fever. But after making some tests, he discovered that she had a lung cancer, very spread. She was very damaged.

She died in our arms. I said her "baby" and she said her last meow and I kissed her. Jordi hugged her and she passed away.

Lilit left us leaving an enormous emptiness, a deep hole in my heart. She's gone and there is nothing that can dry my tears. My girl is gone, my hairy daughter, and with her a part of my life.
I love you Lilit, wherever you are. I love you and thanks my dear for so much happiness, for so much love. I miss you.
I always saw you as a gift from God, and I will never forget you. Lilit you will always be my hairy daughter whenever you are.

To see the other parts of In Memory Of Lilit, go to:

In Memory Of Lilit Part 2

In Memory Of Lilit Part 3